Sunday, May 22, 2011

The rip-off of being a girl?

This is a slightly dicey topic, and I don't mean it to be, I would just like to solicit a few people's thoughts and suggestions. Lately I've been kind of bummed out by how unfair being a girl in this day and age, and, honestly, in this church, can be.


Please note- I am more often than not delighted with my life; the sweet caliber of dreams I have in store for my future and the wonderful caliber of friends and family I have at present keep me always filled with hope, always pressing onward.

BUT

when I see ex's and guyfriends who have the ability to just... DATE, as much as they want, when they want,

when I talk to my married girlfriends and see that they are genuinely frustrated with the way they've been told all their lives to get education and to excel, and now face seemingly endless hours alone with a small baby and a tv,

when I continue to feel like I'm just floating, with 1,000 possibilities for my future where I'd rather have just one or two or ten max,

I start to ask questions. Not despairing questions, just questions.

HOW TO DEAL should be the title of this post. Because dealing with STUFF is one of the most superb gifts of God, I swear. "Everyone has stuff," I've found myself saying over and over again this past month. How to deal with stuff with grace, wisdom, faith, and-- heaven help me-- a sense of humor, is so important to each individual person I know, and to the billions I don't know.

My answers to such questions have been jolting, half-answers, but maybe they're meant to be that way, as this is all a part of growing up and getting wise:

"For there is much which lieth in futurity" says the Savior to the first prophet of this dispensation while he sat in Liberty Jail. (D & C 123:15)

"Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Mordecai muses to a pensive Esther as she considers whether or not to risk her life for the sake of her people. (Esther 4:14)

"Let us lay aside every weight..., and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith" cheers Paul to the Hebrews who were unsure of their place (and pace) in the march onward as new Christians. (Hebrews 12: 1-2)

I sat in on a stake conference broadcast in New York City this morning. Do you know what M. Russell Ballard told me? To cultivate gratitude first, hope second. One can change any situation by finding the implicit blessings to be thankful for within it. He cited a wealthy friend who in one night saw his entire factory, the source of his and many of his extended family members' livelihoods, burn the the ground. He knelt down and, weeping, thanked God for the safety of his whole family.

With gratitude comes a clearer vision of blessings we want in the future, things to hope for. I hope for a future where I learn to be unselfish, where I teach people about art and Jesus Christ, where I am married to someone who will "return my love abundantly," and where I become a mother of challenging, but beautiful, little people with incredible spirits.

Wait, what was I whining about again?

:)

5 comments:

M.C. Sommers said...

It's funny how no matter the question, it seems like the answers are always the same. :)

As always, thanks for your wise words. I have never noticed that D&C reference before.

Olsen Family said...

I love your insights Lindsey. Thank you.

Erin said...

Linds, you really are so wise. I've been learning this lesson lately too. Being grown up is hard sometimes. Love you.

Marissa said...

You have this amazing ability to utterly feed my soul. I'm so beyond looking forward to hearing more insight and wisdom from you this weekend at Duck. Sounds like pure bliss to me.

With all of this - life is hard. Life is beyond hard for all of us - we all struggle, we all have highs and lows (that's why my blog is titled about roller coasters). The trick is having an eternal perspective, having faith, and being grateful for our abundant blessings. I struggle with parts of that at times.

Sometimes I want to give up or I want to speed things up. Isn't it beautiful that Paul knew that you could RUN with patience. Sometimes my pace would make it appear that I'm running with patience, but it's mostly that I'm running as fast as I can and it's just slower at times. Isn't that just eternal pacing?

I love that analogy. The more I look back, the more I am happy that my plan didn't work out and Heavenly Father's did the last couple of years. He knows best and He has blessed me abundantly with friends like you and experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Sigh... now to keep running with patience on the path with the strength that faith brings and a bowed head that only true gratitude can provoke.

Jayci said...

love you, Linds! I love this post, too. Really makes my reliance on the Savior seen like the most sane decision I've ever made. :) Gotta love that.