This is a slightly dicey topic, and I don't mean it to be, I would just like to solicit a few people's thoughts and suggestions. Lately I've been kind of bummed out by how unfair being a girl in this day and age, and, honestly, in this church, can be.
Please note- I am more often than not delighted with my life; the sweet caliber of dreams I have in store for my future and the wonderful caliber of friends and family I have at present keep me always filled with hope, always pressing onward.
when I see ex's and guyfriends who have the ability to just... DATE, as much as they want, when they want,
when I talk to my married girlfriends and see that they are genuinely frustrated with the way they've been told all their lives to get education and to excel, and now face seemingly endless hours alone with a small baby and a tv,
when I continue to feel like I'm just floating, with 1,000 possibilities for my future where I'd rather have just one or two or ten max,
I start to ask questions. Not despairing questions, just questions.
HOW TO DEAL should be the title of this post. Because dealing with STUFF is one of the most superb gifts of God, I swear. "Everyone has stuff," I've found myself saying over and over again this past month. How to deal with stuff with grace, wisdom, faith, and-- heaven help me-- a sense of humor, is so important to each individual person I know, and to the billions I don't know.
My answers to such questions have been jolting, half-answers, but maybe they're meant to be that way, as this is all a part of growing up and getting wise:
"For there is much which lieth in futurity" says the Savior to the first prophet of this dispensation while he sat in Liberty Jail. (D & C 123:15)
"Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Mordecai muses to a pensive Esther as she considers whether or not to risk her life for the sake of her people. (Esther 4:14)
"Let us lay aside every weight..., and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith" cheers Paul to the Hebrews who were unsure of their place (and pace) in the march onward as new Christians. (Hebrews 12: 1-2)
I sat in on a stake conference broadcast in New York City this morning. Do you know what M. Russell Ballard told me? To cultivate gratitude first, hope second. One can change any situation by finding the implicit blessings to be thankful for within it. He cited a wealthy friend who in one night saw his entire factory, the source of his and many of his extended family members' livelihoods, burn the the ground. He knelt down and, weeping, thanked God for the safety of his whole family.
With gratitude comes a clearer vision of blessings we want in the future, things to hope for. I hope for a future where I learn to be unselfish, where I teach people about art and Jesus Christ, where I am married to someone who will "return my love abundantly," and where I become a mother of challenging, but beautiful, little people with incredible spirits.
Wait, what was I whining about again?