Sunday, July 26, 2009

Secrets (Maggie my fellow fan, this one's for you)

The blog Post Secret asks readers to send anonymous postcards containing their secrets to its founder, who then publishes them on the web. Sometimes funny, sometimes sweet, sometimes horrifying, and sometimes galling, it is always so fascinating to read what everyday people have an itch to reveal to the world at large. The creator of this website also published a book of these secrets (and I guess he has another one in the works... so excited to read that one soon!). I spent part of my Friday thumbing through Post Secret Book the First at a store, and spent another part of my Friday composing a list of my own secrets.

One of my favorite postcards in the book reads something like, "Instead of writing down my secrets I share them with those dearest to me... and my life is better for it." Betting that this is very true, here are two of the seven secrets I wrote down. Have a great week, my friends:

6. My regrets from college can be reduced to: kissing Spencer Thomas after we broke up, not going the extra mile for that A- in French 201, putting up that picture of Jenny kissing her future husband's roommate on the end-of-the-year ward slide show, and not telling that boy how distracted I got when I looked at his beautiful face in the library.

7. Every day I wake up to a future that most modern girls' dreams are made of, even though it's not the life I always wanted and planned for. But it's ok. I don't have control over God's timing and I'm doing the best with what I've been given... and I experience real, true, simple happiness almost everyday because of this truth (although each day's happiness comes in the guise of simple adventures such as walking to a friend's house in the rain, talking to a girl at the pool about her friend's suicide watch, or riding the bus home after a long day at work and cherishing the thought that I might belong to the bottom rung of society now, but I'm a free and independent girl in the heart of a great city... and have much to hope for.)

Pable Picasso (Spanish). The Butterfly from the illustrated book Eaux Fortes originales pour textes du Buffon (Histoire Naturelle). Print executed 1936, published 1942.
Iran do Espirito Santo (Brasilian). Butterfly Prussian Blue. 1998. Gouache on paper.
Mark Grotjahn (American). Untitled (Coloful Butterfly White Background Three Wings A#2 504). 2004. Colored pencil on paper.

All courtesy of the online collection at MoMA (Art world's newest version of "The Man.")

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

To every boy ever made:

Know this: the whole sagging-your-swim-trunks below the top of your butt crack is NOT attractive. Has NEVER been attractive. Does not endear us women to you in any way and in fact makes us want to barf and/or yank your pants up to your belly button in a very un-sexy mom-type fashion! I don't CARE if you want a better tan line. I don't CARE that your mom once told you you have a cute butt. I promise you, we will still appreciate your asset when it is displayed under a layer of stylish hyperprene boardshort material. the end.

from,

a person who knows. who is sick of the lower cleavage. (especially the nasty old chunky man kind).


^ Only person in the history of the world who has gotten away with it. And it's only cuz a malicious dog it attacking her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


^On behalf of women everywhere, thank you, Paul Walker, for being so.... modest. :) We likey.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

SOS- I don't have sufficient energy to blog. And I'm back to hating that word.

It's a crying shame, too, cuz I just wrapped up the first full 60-hour workweek of my life, and through it all I had TONS of thoughts streaming through my brain that could be blog-worthy. But now they're all gone; siphoned away while I caught up on my sleep this glorious Sunday afternoon. It's probably for the best. No one should know the random things that scroll across my consciousness while I deal with the relentless sun, the interlaced layers of sunscreen, sweat, and chlorine that pile up on my skin each 10 hour day, and the 200+ little rascals who think I don't notice when they keep running even after I issue my patented mean-lifeguard-bellow, "WALK PLEASE!" ... yep. It's probably for the best I don't blog this week.

... and yet...

My days start and end with an hour of bus travel. This week I completed The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn whilst riding the 10B bus, and it was possibly the most enjoyable read I've had in years. People, WHY does everything written after 1945 have to be intellectual, bleak, and didactic? Why can't I find more stories that are content to make me laugh and see a resemblance between my busmates and Jim and Huck and the two river "rapscallions," the Duke and the King? Why does it seem like my contemporary reading choices are either the vapid Twilight or the labor-intensive Tolstoy? I just need to know. And I need some brilliant writer to make it all go away, and take me floating down the Mississippi again. That's all.

I've had four saves since I began lifeguarding. You needn't be impressed by this. They have consisted of jumping off the stand in order to set upright four babies that tipped over in the 1' deep play pool (THE most stressful pool, in my opinion). Parents get busy talking to each other or dolling out more sunscreen on their other kids, baby tips over and flounders, trying to figure out how to get face up again, and Lindsey springs into action. These mini-saves gives me a heart attack every time, something akin to the sensation of going down that first big drop on a roller coaster.

I really like hanging with the other guards, who range in age from 16 to 21 (my superior is a ripe old 20). I've caught up on my high-school phraseology, the most frequent of which is "FML," and if you don't know what that means, I'm not telling you, and you probably shouldn't look it up. Your poor little eyes are too pure for such things. Although I really do enjoy these guards' easy-going jokes and laughter, I definitely have to bite my tongue when they talk about prom, required Albert Camus, college applications, and which older friend/sibling gets them their alcohol every weekend. Holy crap I feel old with my opinions on such matters. A little old, and a lot Mormon. You may find it odd and discomfiting, but I don't miss hanging with YSA's so much during the week anymore. Truly, I've heard enough dissection of how to get married and why the opposite sex sucks to make me want to shoot myself... NEVERTHELESS! I love my church. And I really miss Institute. And I'm thankful it's Sunday and I could go and listen to speakers.

Ooh, there is one thing I actually CAN remember thinking about this week that I guess I'll blog about. I'm hoisting my intellect out of its slumber in order to discuss the following with you, vague Internet audience (consisting by now of probably just my mom, my aunts, and my darling friend Jayci):

What is the most important thing in the world to you?



One of the guards thinks he's hot stuff, and I can see him shining up to me, and I take none of it. In fantasy Lindseyland, if he ever actually asked to know what it was that makes me completely ignore his existence, I would be brave enough to ask him that question, and watch him struggle to articulate anything beyond an emotion you'd find in a Dashboard Confessional song.

Cuz he's nineteen, and the world has taught him to think about one thing only. I'm fairly confident this dude would never guess what is the most important thing in the world to me, and that is:

Truth.

Ok, ok, I only just figured that out myself while I was sitting on the stand. Somewhere over the last two weeks I asked myself this question, and was frustrated when "religion," "family," and "learning" all came to mind at once. "You can only have one answer to this question There has to be some link between the three of those that is really what you care about most in this world," I thought. I finally hit on it several shifts later. I'm in a constant search for glorious, magnificent, soul-strengthening truth.

I would classify religion, family, and learning as things I love dearest in the world, and I love them precisely because they present me with truths. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints connects me to the personality of God, who is loving, and has a plan for me. It introduced me long ago to Jesus Christ, who, as my dear mother and father and the scriptures explain, is my biggest cheerleader and kindest friend. I could go on and on about the other truths it teaches me, including faith, priesthood, the need for a Restoration, and how great and marvelous is the plan of salvation, but I'll stop there for now (you all should know these things, and if you don't, I know some good people who'd love to teach you about them... :)

Family, including those friends I would give my life for, present me with the knowledge of what it is like to have true charity bloom within you. When I think of my fam, or call them on the phone, or attend their weddings (YAY CLAYTONS!), I better understand what it is to yearn for someone else's happiness and salvation before my own concerns. Truth: "The greatest of these is charity," which "suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." (Moroni 7:45)

I can still remember my reaction to that scripture when I really first contemplated it in seminary. I thought, "That's totally a road map to how we should be living! Am I suffering long? Kind? Not puffed up? Seeking not my own? THINKING NO EVIL? Bearing all things? etc. It really is a good personal checklist, then as now.

Learning-- precious, fun, and exciting adventures of learning-- brings me into contact with the stories and opinions of man and God, and I like that it is up to me to use my intellect and spirit and faith to divine which among the opinions I encounter each day are truth. An interesting quote was passed out in Relief Society today....... Confession: I was so tired, this being my only day off, that I didn't really hear much of what was said (BAD Lindsey!), but I most definitely was able to focus on and be intrigued by this sentence. Go ahead and make the connection between this quote and my love of learning and all-wonderful TRUTH on your own.... I can feel my powers of rational thought and writing ability slipping away fast (time for a nap.) ps the SAAM artwork from last week was indeed the red one at the end. I really liked all those images, though, didn't you?

RS Quote: "Could we read and comprehend all that has been written from the days of Adam, on the relation of man to God and angels in a future state, we should know very little about it. Reading the experience of others, or the revelation given to them, can never give us a comprehensive view of our condition and true relation to God. Knowledge of these things can only be obtained by experience through the ordinances of God set forth for that purpose. Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would know more than you would by reading all that ever was written on the subject... I assure the Saints that truth can and may be known through the revelations of God in the way of His ordinances, and in answer to prayer." -Joseph Smith

Sunday, July 5, 2009

And on the fifth day, she rested...

Yesterday: 10 hours lifeguarding. at a public pool. on the fourth of july.

Today: Let freedom ring!




Fact: One of these images was pulled from the Smithsonian American Art Museum's Online Collection. The other four were pulled from the first page of Google image search results for the keyword "Freedom." Can you guess which one is which??