Monday, November 30, 2009

Down with Chipmunks!

I'm gonna pull another Hermione and start a club for a very underrepresented portion of society. You may now address me as Lindsey, the President of SPARCL: The Society for the Protection of Anxiety-Ridden Christmas Listeners.

The following was going to be my Facebook status for this week, but it was too long to fit, so I'm shuffling it over to the blog, because I feel this is a VERY important minority opinion that too few appreciate:


Lindsey Ann C_________ is one of those Grinches who HATES listening to Christmas music before the 22nd of December. Before you protest, check it: Christmas is a two-day holiday stretched into a month-and-a-half long music and marketing marathon... and y'all know it. Now, I certainly believe in the reason for the season, but I'd rather focus musically on him on his birthday, and maybe on the eve of his birthday, by singing hymns around a piano with loved ones. I'd rather not be subjected to Mariah and Archuletta and the Chipmunks warbling about nothing but cheer for weeks beforehand.The same fifteen songs get remixed over and over again by a galaxy of pop stars hoping to turn another million dollar iTunes profit, and it is TORTURE for us Grinches! Have mercy on us! The radios on my bus started playing carols on the 20th of freaking November this year, for crying out loud!!! I had to take midterms with Paul McCartney's truly galling "Wonderful Christmastime" rolling around in my brain!!! November 20th is far enough back into autumn territory to turn anyone into a Grinch, if they hadn't been already. I have a life. And other emotions to stoke via my music selection. Thank you. PS this rant is not directed at you, cheery Christmas lovers. I hope you know that. It's at the marketing machine and the retailers who tricked us all into thinking nothing except "Snow+Buy presents" since November 20th.



Oh man she's cute. Replace the bulb she's holding with this one and you'll get a perfect illustration of how I feel right now:
Well, insert "Music" underneath "Christmas" right here^ aaaaand there you go. Welcome to my world. It's not such a bad place, you know. It has a lot of different music playing all the time. Very enjoyable.



Auntie J, I promise the story behind Manet's The Railway is coming soon. And it will not be what you expect. Get excited!

7 comments:

MOM said...

Okay Lindsey, I told you I would blast you on this one! hehe! I am here to declare to the world that I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!...even in November! It fills my heart and makes me smile; it's my childhood, my teenage years, my young mommy years, and my older mommy years. It's dancing with my kids to Manheim Steamrollers Christmas album. It's Charlie Brown Christmas music and Snoopy ice skating in glee and confidence; it's me and my siblings lying on our red shagged carpeted family room staring up at the lights of our "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree. It's happy boisterous shopping for people I love. It's ward Christmas bazaars, and live nativities, and singing with family. I want it all. And I want it for more than TWO DAYS!! I patiently wait for it for 11 months of the year, so one month of it is GLORIOUS!!

Hahaha, I retract what I said to you early today and will NOT disown you as my child. But I will pray for you, and pray that the joy of the music will rise above your "marketing machine" view of it all.

Now, I'm off to listen to "All I want for Christmas is YOOOUUUU!!!" (And that song means me and my girls dancing crazily in our family together!!) Merry Christmas child of mine in every other way! :) I love you! And will continue to pray for you!

MOM again said...

And one more thing. Aren't you proud of me? I got through that whole thing without saying "Bahumbug!" ha ha!

Spencer said...

Somewhere around the beginning of November. That's where it started playing in the Provo mall. THAT was bad. I really couldn't believe it. I hear what you're saying though lindsey although, i believe that Christmas music should start playing on December 1. The not thanksgiving day, cuz that's for thanksgiving. Which is different from Christmas. Duh. But the music is great and we always hated you playing your silly ROCK and ROLL music at a time when we don't have to listen to emo singers talking about cutting their wrists, and how someone's boyfriend cheated on them and so i'm gonna be independent now, or about nothing important or happy at all!

But i'm glad to hear your opinion again, and you know you're gonna get a lot of flack for certain parts of this blog. Although most of it is true.

22nd of december. honestly.

Kalisha said...

Lindsey, I'm not even commenting on your Christmas music post but I've decided that I love reading all your art posts! I did read your entire feminism post, and was facing some of the same questions you answered. Glad I wasn't the only one having conflicts between administrative decisions, faith, and feminism. Anyway, LOVE all your discussions that relate to grad school! What classes are you taking? What are your texts? How do you like your program? I know those seem like nerdy questions, but hey, I'm interested.

Marie said...

yeah december 1st is when it should start!! thanksgiving is for thanksgiving.

spencer pretty much said everything i wanted to say :D

Judy Anne said...

My problem is, why do we have to segregate the music and when we can listen to it? I, in the middle of summer, want to sing "Mary's Lullaby". Conversly, the cold weather sometimes makes me want to sing "oh what do you do in the Summertime?" Music is just Music, not Christmas music, or easter music or halloween music or church music...just Music. I say, lets dump the stereotypes and enjoy what we enjoy when we enjoy it!

Judy Anne said...

By the way, I am still waiting for the railway story!!!