Sunday, July 12, 2009

SOS- I don't have sufficient energy to blog. And I'm back to hating that word.

It's a crying shame, too, cuz I just wrapped up the first full 60-hour workweek of my life, and through it all I had TONS of thoughts streaming through my brain that could be blog-worthy. But now they're all gone; siphoned away while I caught up on my sleep this glorious Sunday afternoon. It's probably for the best. No one should know the random things that scroll across my consciousness while I deal with the relentless sun, the interlaced layers of sunscreen, sweat, and chlorine that pile up on my skin each 10 hour day, and the 200+ little rascals who think I don't notice when they keep running even after I issue my patented mean-lifeguard-bellow, "WALK PLEASE!" ... yep. It's probably for the best I don't blog this week.

... and yet...

My days start and end with an hour of bus travel. This week I completed The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn whilst riding the 10B bus, and it was possibly the most enjoyable read I've had in years. People, WHY does everything written after 1945 have to be intellectual, bleak, and didactic? Why can't I find more stories that are content to make me laugh and see a resemblance between my busmates and Jim and Huck and the two river "rapscallions," the Duke and the King? Why does it seem like my contemporary reading choices are either the vapid Twilight or the labor-intensive Tolstoy? I just need to know. And I need some brilliant writer to make it all go away, and take me floating down the Mississippi again. That's all.

I've had four saves since I began lifeguarding. You needn't be impressed by this. They have consisted of jumping off the stand in order to set upright four babies that tipped over in the 1' deep play pool (THE most stressful pool, in my opinion). Parents get busy talking to each other or dolling out more sunscreen on their other kids, baby tips over and flounders, trying to figure out how to get face up again, and Lindsey springs into action. These mini-saves gives me a heart attack every time, something akin to the sensation of going down that first big drop on a roller coaster.

I really like hanging with the other guards, who range in age from 16 to 21 (my superior is a ripe old 20). I've caught up on my high-school phraseology, the most frequent of which is "FML," and if you don't know what that means, I'm not telling you, and you probably shouldn't look it up. Your poor little eyes are too pure for such things. Although I really do enjoy these guards' easy-going jokes and laughter, I definitely have to bite my tongue when they talk about prom, required Albert Camus, college applications, and which older friend/sibling gets them their alcohol every weekend. Holy crap I feel old with my opinions on such matters. A little old, and a lot Mormon. You may find it odd and discomfiting, but I don't miss hanging with YSA's so much during the week anymore. Truly, I've heard enough dissection of how to get married and why the opposite sex sucks to make me want to shoot myself... NEVERTHELESS! I love my church. And I really miss Institute. And I'm thankful it's Sunday and I could go and listen to speakers.

Ooh, there is one thing I actually CAN remember thinking about this week that I guess I'll blog about. I'm hoisting my intellect out of its slumber in order to discuss the following with you, vague Internet audience (consisting by now of probably just my mom, my aunts, and my darling friend Jayci):

What is the most important thing in the world to you?

One of the guards thinks he's hot stuff, and I can see him shining up to me, and I take none of it. In fantasy Lindseyland, if he ever actually asked to know what it was that makes me completely ignore his existence, I would be brave enough to ask him that question, and watch him struggle to articulate anything beyond an emotion you'd find in a Dashboard Confessional song.

Cuz he's nineteen, and the world has taught him to think about one thing only. I'm fairly confident this dude would never guess what is the most important thing in the world to me, and that is:


Ok, ok, I only just figured that out myself while I was sitting on the stand. Somewhere over the last two weeks I asked myself this question, and was frustrated when "religion," "family," and "learning" all came to mind at once. "You can only have one answer to this question There has to be some link between the three of those that is really what you care about most in this world," I thought. I finally hit on it several shifts later. I'm in a constant search for glorious, magnificent, soul-strengthening truth.

I would classify religion, family, and learning as things I love dearest in the world, and I love them precisely because they present me with truths. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints connects me to the personality of God, who is loving, and has a plan for me. It introduced me long ago to Jesus Christ, who, as my dear mother and father and the scriptures explain, is my biggest cheerleader and kindest friend. I could go on and on about the other truths it teaches me, including faith, priesthood, the need for a Restoration, and how great and marvelous is the plan of salvation, but I'll stop there for now (you all should know these things, and if you don't, I know some good people who'd love to teach you about them... :)

Family, including those friends I would give my life for, present me with the knowledge of what it is like to have true charity bloom within you. When I think of my fam, or call them on the phone, or attend their weddings (YAY CLAYTONS!), I better understand what it is to yearn for someone else's happiness and salvation before my own concerns. Truth: "The greatest of these is charity," which "suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." (Moroni 7:45)

I can still remember my reaction to that scripture when I really first contemplated it in seminary. I thought, "That's totally a road map to how we should be living! Am I suffering long? Kind? Not puffed up? Seeking not my own? THINKING NO EVIL? Bearing all things? etc. It really is a good personal checklist, then as now.

Learning-- precious, fun, and exciting adventures of learning-- brings me into contact with the stories and opinions of man and God, and I like that it is up to me to use my intellect and spirit and faith to divine which among the opinions I encounter each day are truth. An interesting quote was passed out in Relief Society today....... Confession: I was so tired, this being my only day off, that I didn't really hear much of what was said (BAD Lindsey!), but I most definitely was able to focus on and be intrigued by this sentence. Go ahead and make the connection between this quote and my love of learning and all-wonderful TRUTH on your own.... I can feel my powers of rational thought and writing ability slipping away fast (time for a nap.) ps the SAAM artwork from last week was indeed the red one at the end. I really liked all those images, though, didn't you?

RS Quote: "Could we read and comprehend all that has been written from the days of Adam, on the relation of man to God and angels in a future state, we should know very little about it. Reading the experience of others, or the revelation given to them, can never give us a comprehensive view of our condition and true relation to God. Knowledge of these things can only be obtained by experience through the ordinances of God set forth for that purpose. Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would know more than you would by reading all that ever was written on the subject... I assure the Saints that truth can and may be known through the revelations of God in the way of His ordinances, and in answer to prayer." -Joseph Smith


MOM said...

Wow. That was unexpected...I mean, after talking to you and knowing you were dead tired, and then to read this hilarious blog, and then suddenly come upon this incredible dose of "truth". And to think it came to you while life guarding! I guess saving tipping babies has its amazing life revealing moments. Truth IS glorious. It leads us to the things of God which, regardless of what the world preaches or insists upon or wishes, really are the things that make us TRULY happy.

Thanks for sharing what you're learning. You bring me joy on so many levels, and that's the truth!

Ld said...

Ok, now you have to ask the dude the question and report back what he says... or will that mess up the easy going atmosphere that enables you to save the floundering tipped babies, sans fatal roller coaster like heart atacks, enjoy pre WW11 books, while thinking about eternal truths and gazing into heaven?

Here is a truth:
Heaven = Lindseyland.

Love, Ld

rachel said...

in answer to your question I will tell you the very first thing that came into my head.

Harry Potter

You can really read into my answer.....I guess magic,fantasy books and movies are most important to me! Also my favorite people love HP.

Judy Anne said...

I too love the persuit of truth, but the most important thing to me is the Holy Ghost-Jesus Christ. I link them together because they are how I learn truth. This is a secret that many LDS Youth and youngsters like me forget...Jesus Christ through the Holy Ghost reveals the truth of ALL things. My spirit can talk to my friend Thee Spirit and learn more than I can express to the world. I love the 'ah ha', lightbulb feeling that I get and see as my students or I finally understand a truth. Wow! Why don't we more fully use this great tool our loving Heavenly Father gave us? That is what is most important to me.

Marissa said...

You, my dear, are one brilliant woman! Seriously. Not only do you have an amazing sense of humor, but you found a way to testify and use scripture. Not many people try to do that let alone actually succeed.

Thanks again for visiting and coming to the ice cream social! Good luck at work this week! So looking forward to visiting you soon!

Marissa said...

Also - I think for me the most important thing is FAITH.

It means hope and courage and humility and gratitude all to Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father all wrapped up into one little concept. It makes the highs higher and pushes me through the lowest of lows. It teaches me love and kindness while still making me personally stronger and more resilient... not many other concepts can do all of that at once.

Jayci said...

i love my little shout-outs :D haha! And Huck Finn is one of the greatest books. Have you read Tom Sawyer yet? My dad had me read both as a little girl. Hard reads as a little girl, because I wanted to read Babysitters Little Sister, but I loved them! AND the movie.. huck finn. I thought I was going to marry Elijah Wood. :P

your thoughts on Truth are so perfectly explained. You have a gift. For seeing through the superficiality of everything around you and digging deeper for the true meaning behind things; in art, literature, people, and religious faith. So inspiring!

Anonymous said...

I READ!! most of the sometimes anyway..

david THE cousin

Auntie Cheryl said...

OK-I will try this, since I stopped in to read your newest blog and you weren't there! Were you napping-oh, exhausted little fishy and saver of tipping babies?

Mine would be my relationship with Heavenly Father-growing it as strong as I can, using the resources that He has given me, which are... prayer, fasting, temple, scriptures, modern revelation, ordinances, tithing's blessings, blessings in general! church talks, other people, writing in my journal all of the answers and TM's that comes my way (uh, that would be tender mercies). The biggest would be Christ's Atonement-that can keep me "cleaned out" so that I can 'hear' His answers, feel the Spirit so that I can be a better mother, teacher, sister, friend, daughter.

Without working at growing my relationship with Heavenly Father, then I get mired down in all kinds of "stuff", negative thoughts, negative emotions, camping in my refrigerator for days at a time, and on and on and on.

I am just now starting to look at obedience a lot more closely than I used to. My obedience was pretty artificial, because we are supposed to be obedient. I think I used to be afraid of what might happen if I wasn't obedient. Now I do it for purely selfish reasons! I want His Spirit to be with me as much as possible NOW, not in the next life, not while I am dying. Right now because I desperately need and want it. I like how it feels, how it affects my mood, my words, my thoughts and my ability to "see" and this makes me happy.

So, that is what is most important to me.



And a nice piece of cold, sweet watermelon.

Auntie Cheryl

Katy said...

Ummmmm Lindsey. You are quite possibly the most entertaining and talented quirky writer I have ever encountered. I adore you. Keep up the witty material. I will be following. LOVES