Monday, August 1, 2011

Weekend Thoughts on Romance (written backwards)

In the spirit of 500 Days of Summer, I'm going to relate my developing thoughts about romance to you, backwards, starting with my much-older-and-wiser thoughts of today.

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(Monday) Yesterday was a day of reckoning... not really, but it felt like it. We had a combined meeting about dating (quel suprise.) and for once this subtle monster of a topic pricked, not amused, me. I'm feeling the strange need to change the way I think about love and romance. Does anyone feel like they've successfully done this before? During the talk they advised us to throw away the "high school and college rules" about dating. Yikes. To me, that means setting aside dreams of falling in love like all my friends fell in love. They got married at age 21 and 22 and 23. I know I won't have a 21 year old's love story, I'll have at least a 26 year old's love story. I just don't think I know what that looks like, or how to prepare for it. I got the message yesterday in church that such preparation should include not getting excited about dates 1, 2, and 3 and to start dating your friends? Mmm ok. Overall the talk made me kinda sad, which means I'm probably immature. So sue me, I like my little romantic dreams of man sees girl, man chases girl, woman and man fall in love, have a few mishaps on the way but ultimately become beaming man and wife and endure to the end (very important last step).

(Sunday) The question burning in my soul as I go to sleep is, what romantic dreams do you retire over time, and which do you retain?

(Blurred for her privacy,
trust me, it's darling!)
(Saturday) It was probably on a Saturday just like this one, three or four years ago, that I was sitting on Jessica's bed, strolling through facebook, when I suddenly came across a new, darling picture of our friend Genna and her then-boyfriend-now-husband Andrew. She has ahold of his suspenders, looking flashy and sly in high heels, while Andrew displays his characteristic sarcastic smirk that clearly says "I'm whooped and I'm happy... but if you ask me I'll deny everything." I cheered out loud for their cuteness, and Jessica looked at me with the strangest smile and remarked, "You get crushes on couples. You love couples!!!!" And I guess I do.

(Friday) In the car on the way to the outlets, I discover that my friend Summer also gets crushes on couples. I'm glad I'm not alone. I shouldn't be alone. True love gives off more love, and it's good to bask in it. It's called empathy. It's enjoyable! It's hopeful! It's energizing! Etc. (Fast-forward to Monday: I think I need new, older couples, or a new, older boyfriend, to show me what to be excited for anymore?)

Adorable card I found on some blog somewhere...
Yep that's as rigorous as my attempts to establish copyright go. Oops.
(Saturday night) As a 26-year-old Mormon, I have seen good friends make great matches hundreds of times over! I still love their stories, I don't think I'll ever get tired of them. I know some of you might be rolling your eyes at me, thinking, "Linds, it's not all fun and games, this marriage. Get over it." Got it. Heard the spiel. Yes, marriage is hard, all of life is hard. But that's not what I'm blogging about today. I'm talking about that adorable energy, that synchronization that real love turns on between two people. I REVEL in that stuff! I REJOICE in it! I even get SQUEALY for it! It gives me hope. I have the audacity to hope for real love, even as the statistics of failure come crashing down over my head. 

(Saturday morning) The fabulous blog A Cup of Jo featured two adorable engagement videos sent to her by readers- of course I eat them up. I used to not be a fan of people taping their engagements (I liked the idea that such a moment is meant to exist in the couples' memory alone), but these two tapes have me singing a different tune. These videos get me started thinking about how I always get crushes on couples...

(Monday night) I return to my new question: how do I change my ideas about love for the better?

[Enter an earnest, outgoing, Mormon Joseph Gordon-Leavitt look-alike. Problem solved.] 

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