My immaturity comes out in full bloom at Costco.

Scene 1 (two weeks ago)

I see the Tangled DVD on sale at Costco, grab it, hug it to my cheek, and start jumping up and down and squealing with delight. Two stodgy middle-aged men next to me stare disapprovingly.

Scene 2 (almost every time I go)

Everyone else shepherds heavy carts of stuff to the checkout, while I stand in line with a lone milk carton, a veggie, and sometimes a cheap DVD on the ground in front of me. Sometimes I open up my new bag of Kirtland dried fruit and EAT IT right in front of other line-standers to feel like even more of a Costco renegade. In your face, baldy!

Scene 3 (EVERY TIME I go)

I have to suppress a giggle when I pass these in the frozen section:

Because I always, ALWAYS, read,

 "Spanktopia."

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fin.

Rules of Chillin

For Kathryn the Energizer bunny, who does not know the joy of unproductivity

1. Start by walking into your room and donning your sweats... with NO intention of working out.
2. Go to your fridge and look in it multiple times for funzies... After a while pick something to nibble.
3. There should be at least four tabs open on your browser: facebook, an interesting link someone posted on facebook, and two or more of your other internet guilty pleasures. (if you are not a big internet surfer, some suggestions include mymodernmet.com, dcist.com, the nytimes style section, cooking blogs, or hulu.com. Guys, I'm really enjoying Cougartown. There. I said it).
4. Ideally, you should have a roommate and friends around so you can discuss such non-pressing issues as kissing, your next grocery run, the eternal work-out-or-not-work-out debate, and what would happen if the squirrels of DC attacked Virginia.
5. Text Somebody!
6. If there is a couch, sit on it. If there is a footstool, or a coffee table, or pretty much anything foot level in front of the couch, put your feet up. Use the remote.
7. If you are lucky enough to have a significant other, CUDDLE CUDDLE CUDDLE! Do it baby. Take one for the team.

In short,

You MAY:
Listen to music
Be outside on the grass
Be on vacation
Pop popcorn
Fall asleep
Be Happy

You May NOT:
Learn stuff you will use later in life
Burn calories (except from laughing or chasing squirrels)
Clean
Accomplish anything you had intended to do when you got up this morning
Worry
Grow old before your time

Any questions??

Illustrations:

Embrace Your Liberty's most repeated words, in mug form!

Random Pretty Things I Found

DCist Flickr Pool

Pics 1, 2, and 3 are from mymodernmet.com, a drool-worthy arts blog. Every day, it never disappoints.

March Madness Queen

When your 80 year old grandfather writes the whole family an email and tells us he was Jimmered Thursday through Saturday watching BYU rock the first two rounds of the NCAA Men's BBall tourney, you know it was a good year to be really into March Madness. When your alma mater's frontman is a shoo-in for national player of the year (52 points in one GAME!) and his name inspires worship from men, women, and children of all religions even 2,000 miles away from his university, you know it was a good year to be into March Madness. When more first and second round games ended as buzzer beaters than ever and you see some MAJOR heart break played out through bizarre last-second foul shots (so sorry, Pitt), you know it was an excellent year to be into March Madness!!! Needless to say, this has been a great week, and promises to be a great month. This is my greatest source of joy this month of March:

Yes, that is my bracket. On top of my singles ward's 84-person pool. It's been up there since the second day of the tourney (I went for broke with a couple sweet sixteen upsets though, we'll see how long I remain the Queen). I worked super hard on my bracket this year, using a cool "Blind Bracket" feature from wsj.com where you picked winners based purely on strengths and weaknesses, you weren't shown the names of the teams. I still somehow ended up with BYU and SDSU in the Final Four and I took that as a sign. I rolled with all of my blind bracket picks, except I advanced Ohio and ODU more than the blind bracket said to (The Ohio bet is panning out, ODU not so much).

I FINALLY understand what Ben Herman was talking about in 12th grade when he screamed, " AHHH I love March Madness so much!" in the middle of broadcast journalism in an slightly inappropriate groan (I remember it vividly cuz I couldn't understand what would provoke that kind of frenzy). Now I know. Talking sports with guys is the best, btw, because they get so excited that they lose a lot of their cool front, one of the cutest and most refreshing things ever. My first-place rank at the top of my church pool got me a shout-out in Elder's Quorum today, every girl's fondest dream. Like you, Ben, now I can say exuberantly: I LOVE MARCH MADNESS SO MUCH!

I'll be honest, I love the drama of sports, which is why I tend to check in during tournaments and bowl series, not so much regular season stuff (unless it's BYU men's volleyball, football, or Jimmer, of course). And I only bother following college sports. One of the best lines I've heard on Sportscenter this week is, "College ball is a coach's game. NBA is a player's game." So true, and that's why I love college sports. All about the heart, the team, the learning curve, the four-year window of opportunity. Not the million-dollar contract. Any thoughts on this? It has been pointed out to me recently that I have never actually been to most kinds of pro sporting events- no NBA, NFL, NHL games for me, ever. (Baseball, yes). What can I say, I'm from Las Vegas. The closest teams are in LA!

I have been following basketball this year since the first SDSU game, I feel like that's legit. To all my girlfriends out there that are bemoaning the total absence of attention from their men this month, take it from me: it's actually really fun to delve into the game of basketball! This year, I've learned how seeding works, what "off the boards" and "in the paint" mean, how drawing fouls can actually be a recognized skill for a team, what to look for in a talented player, and how crappy Charles Barkley's predictions are compared to mine (BOOYAH). As you all know, I am an arts girl, so this a rare and awesome moment for me, this sports post. I'm just writing to let you know that I'm seeing the beauty in sports, the beauty of effort, which, if you're a guy, I probably don't have to describe you (or if you are a really awesome girl). Fun, crazy,  interesting, emotional, beautiful stuff, that basketball. The month of March just shot up the charts in my book. Now here's hoping Kansas and BYU continue to shoot up the bracket...

(I just had to throw this in- it's been in my head for two weeks)

because because because

Because it saved my non-sugary life today:

(It's a Greek Yogurt flavored like veggies and ranch. Aka it flavor-fies AND healthifies the pita chips I'm still downing like mad. Day 7 of non-sugar-Lent, going strong!)

Because I'm happily obsessed with this band:



(I don't remember whose facebook/gchat status first introduced me to the band The Civil Wars, but thank you. I had a REALLY long inner debate between four of their tracks to bring to the blog today, that's how good they are. This video won because they took a traditionally happy song and made it sad and somehow made it better and that is NOT easy to do! Mad props, you two.)


Because I'm feeling nostalgic today:

Come here!

Come back!

Come back!

Parental jackpot. I tells you.

You come here too. :)

Because we talked about the parable of the sower in Sunday school this week and it got me pondering how many scriptures use flowers and plants to drive their point home:

Mark 4: Out went the sower to sow, by the wayside, on the stony ground, among the thorns, and finally, "other fell on good ground, and did yield fruit that sprang up and increased; and brought forth, some thirty, and some sixty, and some an hundred. He that hath ears to hear let him hear."

Manet.

Isaiah 35:1 The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.

Alma 32:28 ye will begin to say within yourselves- It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious unto me.

D & C, Luke, Matthew, AND 3rd Nephi: "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow, they toil not, neither do they spin, and the kingdoms of the world, in all their glory, are not arrayed like one of these.

There's so many more. Be on the lookout for them this spring :)

End of Day 2. Good Lord this is hard.

So, I am giving up sugar for Lent, and it is ridiculous. I'm still true to my goal, but I've definitely nose-dived in other categories to make up for it. I'm going to be keeping track of this "journey" to sugar will-power though!! (haha... "journey." American Idol/Bachelor script writers' annoying go-to word).

Items that replaced Beloved Sugar with mild-to-moderate success today and yesterday:

1. EXCEDRIN*

2. Pita Chips. Bags at a time.

3. Water

* The fact that I have had a spine-to-skull headache for two days is really, really the reason (besides religion) why I am undertaking this fast. I can feel my addiction to sugar, the inability to withstand it, and it worries me. If you are a sporadic health-nut in America, like me, you no doubt have come across a health blog or magazine article in the last 3 years extolling the addictive and destructive qualities of white processed sugar (such an innocuous little monster...). Many experts now believe sugar is more hard to kick than cigarettes (it stays in your SPINE for two weeks before your cravings begins to wane!). As stewards of wonderful bodies, this fact should definitely disturb us. Yes, this is a mild soapbox issue with me, admittedly because it's something I'm trying to overcome. Sugar negatively affects our sleep patterns, attention span, ability to focus, and more obviously and most worrisomely (is that a word?), our metabolism and our ability to transition from different emotions or moods effectively.

I remember the last time I was off sugar. I NOTICED how less roller-coaster-y my emotions were. It was fantastic. Day 2- rough but going strong!

Sugar already appears in my diet in the guise of high-fructose corn syrup and the like, my goal is to just eliminate the obvious sweets that will give me a rush without a SHRED of nutritional value (and we all know that kind of sugar when we eat it. Candy, baked goods, sugar drinks, etc).

Besides Excedrin, today's Lindsey Life-Saver award goes to:

The apple. My body couldn't handle no sugar, so this is what I stuffed it with. Day 2 complete, stay tuned to hear what challenges lie ahead in Day 3 of the Sugar Sabbatical 2011, including a visit to the bakery with a new Birthday Cupcake potentially free for me to sample if I so desire. Dun-dun DUN!

I'm not Catholic, but...

After 6 months of being that-> girl, I have decided to give up sweets for Lent. 18ish hours in, and my head is splitting!!! It's going to be a long 42 days, wish me luck. The last time I tried to give up sugar I made it to 10 am, when I walked into work and found a box of donut holes sitting on a table. Self-control, not my forte.

I'm not Catholic, but I gave up facebook for Lent last year with a friend from school and I found it a really rewarding experience; giving up something you love, er, use all the time, and thinking about the Savior when you want to cave. Cupcake-the-size-of-my-head, I'll see you at Easter! We shall rejoice!

Still. Life.

I've woken up to this pretty vase of roses every morning since Valentine's day (it was the parents' wonderful little gift from afar off), and I have really, REALLY enjoyed the act of sitting (er, laying) and contemplating the roses. My thoughts turn to the art of the still-life inevitably, every time. Still-lifes, as we art historians are allowed to misspell them, are a little like landscapes to me. I know I don't give them the time and attention and reverence they deserve, and I am ashamed. But they're notably on the shelf of things to get obsessed with later in my studies. Still-lifes can be just about the most ridiculously beautiful and thought-provoking paintings out there. My prejudice stems from the fact that I am always befuddled when I look at them. The same question always comes up: "Did the artist paint this for him/herself, or for me?"

Paul Cezanne. Still Life with Apples and Peaches. 1905. NGA.
This artist's simple, slightly jarred and blocky still-lifes inspired
modernism as we know it. Can you see the glimmer in there?
The force that changed art forever?

The glory of a still-life is that it captures an object, its contours and colors, in all their mundanity or magnificence, and holds them there for eternity. I always am disturbed by the thought that it must have been ten times more stimulating to create a still life than to look at one. I've seen an artist's studio when it's still-life time. The whole room, every single thing in it, seems to revolve around that simple table with fruit on it, or set of dishes. Lights shine in that direction. Chairs are arranged just so around that central place. And the artist's canvas is invariably located somewhere nearby, propped on an easel, prepped and ready to contain the artist's best efforts to replicate what lies at center stage. A plant, or a banana, or a dead goose. Or a hammer, or a sculputre, or a goldfish. The possibilities for still-life subjects are endless.

Some of the world's most lovely things are to be found all around us, commonplace yet stately. Giorgio Morandi (1890-1960) knew this secret well. Living in Italy during the turn of the last century, a quiet man amidst the raging fascist movement that consumed his country, Morandi spent his time and energy on something so ordinary yet riveting that his works have earned a permanent place in art history. Morandi spent forty+ years painting the same set of familiar bottles and pitchers, rearranged in various positions. Forty years. But oh, how his works shimmer, in their stately greys and pale tans, day after day, painting after painting:

Giorgio Morandi. Still Life. 1955. Oil on canvas.

Giorgio Morandi. Still Life. 1956. Oil on canvas.

It's not only the bottles, their curves and coloring, their shadows (or lack thereof) that is to be contemplated in these works. It's the composition of the paintings, the balance of tall and thin, short and squat, near and far, that we find the artist has deftly manipulated. It's in the sheer magnitude of creativity that the artist could sustain with such a limited set of models. Morandi: in a word, thoughtful. (a second word would be: bottle.)

In case you're wondering, all still-lifes do NOT originate in the artist's peaceful contemplation of their surroundings. Most definitely not. I talked on M.C.'s blog about the potentially unnerving qualities of Wayne Thiebaud's paintings of pies, and here is another example of a still life that is far from peaceful:

Henri Matisse, The Goldfish, oil on canvas, 1912

This is one of my personal favorites paintings, not because of its mysterious aura of calm, but because of it's ENERGY! The thing I probably love most about still-lifes is how they get you to compare paint with real objects. No, that's not real glass up there, but it looks pretty darn close. How did Matisse do that?? Through black lines, placed really close to white lines, can you see them? Carefully observe your drinking glasses today. See if you can see the lines there, too.

If you ever want to sound REALLY artsy, start mentioning Dutch still-lifes. The Dutch artists from the 1600s are art history's premiere still-life geniuses. You just can NOT get better than this, agreed?

Willem Claesz Heda. Banquest Piece with Mince Pie, 1635. NGA.

The pewter pot! The satin sheen! The spiraling orange peel! And it's all an illusory trick of paint on paint! Those Dutch. They were magical. Let's get a little bit bigger image, shall we?

Willem Claesz Heda, Still Life with Oysters, a Silver Tazza, and Glass Ware, 1635. The Met.

That's more like it. Again, magic. Often, Dutch still-lifes have quite a heavy hidden content to convey. The Dutch still-lifes capture things ephemeral and temporary, such as cut flowers, ripe fruit, bubbles, and candles, which are meant to remind viewers that not everything lasts (so you'd better be obedient!). It's a poignant and often sobering thought, that those things which may on canvas appear eternal and valuable, will, in reality, wither away, just as human life will. There's a word for these types of still-lifes: Vanitas. As in, do not be vain like the silly flowers, their value lasts only a day.

400 years later, Ori Gersht, a photographer from Israel, chose to resurrect this concept in his still-lifes. I've talked about Gersht before: he sets up elaborate still-life arrangements (dead goose, cut flowers, ripe fruit, etc., all the classics), but then he rigs them with explosives and detonates them, capturing their untimely destruction with a high speed camera. Voila Ori Gersht:

Ori Gersht. Blow Up: Untitled 4. 2007. 

He also does the same thing in videos (putting the video in a framed flatscreen so it LOOKS like a painting, seen here). His works a beautiful and eerie reminder of what kinds of destruction modern man can wreak upon even his most favorite sources of beauty and comfort.

 Carel Fabritius. The Goldfinch.1654. The Mauritshuis. 

So, I've seen hundreds of still-lifes in my studies. Possibly thousands. I've seen this little guy to the right in its hometown in the Hague. It's an image beloved by an entire nation. This type of painting also has it's own name: Trompe l'oeil, or trick of the eye. It's not that much bigger than the size you see in on your screen, and was intended to trick people into thinking there were seeing a real bird perched on the wall on which the painting was hung. This painting is absolutely beloved by the people of the Netherlands, such is the peculiar lure of the still-life. Why do you think that is? 

There's one final still-life I want to show you, not remarkable so much for its thoughtful portrayal nor its hidden meanings, but rather, the story behind it:

Edouard Manet created Bunch of Asparagus in 1880 for his friend Charles Ephrussi; he sold it to him for 800 francs yet Charles, knowing Manet was rather impoverished, paid him 1,000. Manet, humbled and touched by the gift, sent this little painting:

A single asparagus leaf. As a thank-you to his generous friend :)

Probably the most self-indulgent post I'll ever write, but it's Vday. Love me.

I love love.

Everyone does, it's magical, so that's NBD.

I love dating!

Not so many concur with that one.

I really do. Getting dressed up, daydreaming about them before the date and after the date if it goes well, giving someone your full attention, seeing how they put their best foot forward (or don't :), etc. It's all great stuff! Sure, there's the whole three-day-agony when he doesn't respond to your text, and of course, breaking up or being rejected absolutely sucks, but such is life. Dating's so worth it, getting to know someone one-on-one. Such a great thing.

Whenever any downtime occurs, I just tell myself he obviously isn't worth the worry and move my focus elsewhere. Being 25 1/2, almost a decade into my dating career, I've done that quite a few times now, just as I have broken a few hearts, brightened a few boys' weekends, and even gotten to change a few lives, and be changed myself, for the better.

In Institute last week our teacher challenged us to think about all of our best and worst decisions, and what made them so. Both my best and worst decisions involve relationships (and charity and pride, respectively). I can say with confidence, though, that there's only been a single date in the almost TEN years I've been dating that I regret going on. That's a really good track record I think.

It sounds cheesy, but I really do feel like I've learned from each boy/guy/man I've dated, even if none of them have become my true love quite yet. I remember when I was a sophomore in college I made a list of every boy I'd ever been on a date with. There's no way I can recreate that list now, five years later, I can't remember them all... but I do have some highlights. :) The following is a grossly, unfairly, stereotyped survey of select guys I've gone out with, because it's V-day and I'd like to remember that it's not because I haven't given things a shot with a variety of fantastic and not-so-fantastic menfolk. We all nickname our crushes: "Library boy," "volleyball boy," "motorcycle man," etc., please don't judge me for having had this list in such a format in the back of my head. Is your list really any different? (Especially you marrieds??) How do you feel about YOUR list? I hope you can take pride in it, it's a pretty important thing to be content with.

A survey of Lindsey's love interests (Future husband, you get to feel proud that you bested all of the following):

Eldorado HS soccer player (my first date :)

I stayed good friends with all these guys,
I don't think they'll mind being the
visual content of today's post :)

HS prom date who moved into my singles ward 5 years later and announced over the pulpit that I made a great date
The Hobbit (he was 5'5"... and VERY confident, so manly!)
BYU football players 1, 2, and 3
BYU Swimmer
Harvard Tennis Player
Utah Football player
BYU Rugby player (the most gentlemanly of all the athletes)
Guy who got married and became the 1st counselor in my singles ward bishopbric... AWKWARD.
Skiier Boy
Guy who introduced me to Jack Johnson (my very favorite boy of all time... sigh. Win some, lose some.)
Guy who studied Computers at the Y and had zero social skills (worst date EVER)
BYU Mascot ( he didn't know I knew!)
Harvard MBA
Afghanistan EOD Officer, (owner of the most interesting boy award).
BYU JD
BYU MACC
BYU MBA
Yale JD
Boy who gave me the extra set of keys to his car (schwing!)
Drummer in a jazz band
Future prophet
Princeton Prepster
African do-gooder save-the-world type
Hill staffers 1, 2, and 3
Most beautiful guy I've ever seen (congrats to his new wife :)
Boy who liked techno and wanted to wear a Batman suit the first night of his marriage
Shakespearean actor
Guy who let me drive his dad's Corvette
Rich surfer boy from the OC, sweetest guy ever
Orthopedic surgeon
My second cousin (JK... although my best friend tried to set me up with him once :)
FBI Agent
Dental students 1, 2, and 3 (GO UNLV!!!!!)
Florida boy (I'll always wonder what happened to him...)

I'm still missing a collegiate lacrosse player. They've always topped my list of boys I wanted to date. Well, them, and THE ONE of course, whoever the heck he may turn out to be. I've still got time!

I need to end this post on a less braggy, more V-day appropriate note. My friends and I were recently talking about our "types," and I was surprised to find that the other girls had no idea what their types were; the men they've dated vary too widely. I was surprised because my type has remained consistent since high school, maybe even junior high, when I first began to love boys.

I'm going to tell you what I told these girls, the same thing I told my stake president in 12th grade when he wanted to set me up, the same thing I thought to myself at age 11 when the class clown asked quiet little me about the necklace I was wearing: I love funny men, the kind that can entertain a roomful of people but especially the girls. The ones that like asking girls questions. He can even be a little high maintenance, I like maintaining someone :). Find me one of those, universe, make sure he loves God and family and learning about the big wide world, and we'll be in business. Thank you in advance, so much.

Happy Valentine's Day, my friends. If you have someone to love, do so with all your heart. Such is the sweetest gift life has to offer.

Lord Frederic Leighton. The Painter's Honeymoon. 1864. MFA Boston.

Elie Wiesel

"'Man comes closer to God through the questions he asks Him,' he liked to say. Therein lies true dialogue. Man asks and God replies. but we don't understand His replies. We cannot understand them. Because they dwell in the depths of our souls and remain there until we die. The real answers, Eliezer, you will find only within yourself."

"And why do you pray, Moise?" I asked him.

"I pray to the God within me for the strength to ask Him the real questions."

I cheated on you.

I guest-posted on my friend M.C.'s blog, wrote about art history and baking. Enjoy!

Best picture I could find of M.C. and I:

She's the one in the sunglasses, I am the one rocking bangs, on a wakeboarding trip right before the BYU v. UNLV football game, 2007. Good times :)